You know that feeling when you have something meaningful to say, but you don’t have the guts?
You’re on a stage and hundreds of people are waiting. You’re thrown in cold sweats. Knees tremble. You’d better turn around and go back home.
The nervousness in stomach increases, because you don’t have experience and you don’t know what to expect. The fear of failure holds you back from promoting your ideas, from writing on your blog, or spreading the message to an audience.
What if they don’t get it?
You don’t want them to see you screwing up. You won’t stand the shame and humiliation. This is your worst nightmare. Isn’t it?
You’d better be a hero in your small world, rather than a small fish among big sharks. On the other side a thought keeps troubling you. What if 10 years from now you’ll regret of not trying? And you accept the challenge.
Now you are in the game and there is no way back. You either win or lose.
Too late to think about that. The viewer wants the circus. Act.
How in the hell will you defeat a stronger opponent?
Thanks for asking.
Look behind the curtain
Achilles, the hero of the Trojan war, was invulnerable in all of his body. However, he was shot in the heel with an arrow, and he died from that small wound.
Even the strongest opponents and biggest challenges have its weak points.
We don’t want anybody know about our weaknesses, because we don’t want to get hurt. It’s our human need.
Facing bigger challenges
Let’s face it. Size matters
Facing bigger opponents puts you in immediate disadvantage, and it’s scary and you feel unsure. But what if you’re faster, smarter, or savvier than him? It means there is a chance.
Can we than say, that size does matter, but it’s not everything?
In 15 years of karate practice I won against bigger, faster, and stronger opponents. Every time they tried to control the fight using their advantage, but I didn’t play their game.
If my adversary was heavier than me, I used footwork to control the distance. If my opponent was taller and had longer limbs, I maintained a shorter distance to give him less room for his amplitude. And if the opponent was too aggressive, I would kick harder to knock down his ardor. Though this earned me a penalization point, but I showed that I’m not afraid of him.
With experience I could easier find the loophole in my opponent’s arsenal.
And if things are not going well yet, before you give up I want to share with you the lesson’s I’ve learned on how to overcome challenges.
Lesson 1. Disconnect your mind.
Imagine that you can’t swim.
Accepting a challenge is like being thrown in the big water and trying to come out of it alive. You panic, you are afraid to die, but most of all you regret you never learned to swim. These thoughts aren’t going to keep you alive. That’s all inefficient thinking.
Keep a sober mind and properly assess the situation, and you’ll understand that the only way to stay alive is learn to swim, even if you have to learn the hard way.
Lesson 2. Don’t whine
Whiners are the most creative people on this planet, but most inefficient. They can find 100’s of excuses not to do what they have to do.
The whiner’s thinking weakens your spirit. You lose so much energy focusing on the wrong things.
Lesson 3. Exercise to develop will power.
What moves you even if circumstances are not perfect? It’s not your titles. It’s not your friends. It’s not even the having huge experience.
When writing your blog posts, giving public speeches, or marketing your ideas doesn’t bring you joy anymore, will power keeps you doing the hard work.
Willpower is not something you either have or you don’t. You develop it by yourself regularly overcoming this feeling until it becomes your habit.
Lesson 4: Do less.
I would even say “do less, but more of it”.
There are infinite sources teaching the modern person to exceed in almost any aspect of his life. If you want to be healthy, there are diet and exercising programs that will teach how to live well. If you want to write better, there are a lot of blogs and experts teaching this. There is information on almost anything you want. All you need is find a good time management book and learn how to fit all this in your 24 hour day.
Focusing on too many things and giving them little time to master the skills brings you nowhere. You’d rather do less, but do it with mastery.
Lesson 5: Be brave.
If doubt holds you back, you are a step away from missing an opportunity.
The world moves too fast, and it won’t wait until you’ll find the perfect moment to act. If you are waiting for the next best moment you can relax, because someone braver has already taken this opportunity and is far too ahead of you.
Lesson 6: Improve your strength.
Let me tell you a story.
One day the captain of professional snipers asks “Are you ready to shoot?” Shooting was a regular thing for snipers, but what followed next they didn’t expect.
Instead of taking their guns, the captain ordered to run 10 miles following an hour physical training. When soldiers finished their routine the captain said “Get ready for shooting!” All the snipers were completely exhausted. They couldn’t keep their guns still.
In that day only 5 out of 50 snipers hit the target.
Your real strength is tested when you expect it the least. Expecting challenges is the way to improve your strength.
Don’t spend too much time examining your challenges. Do a little preparation and proceed to most effective actions. This will improve your skills, figure out your own advantages and disadvantages, gain experience and build your own story.
Now you’ll definitely have something meaningful to share. You deserve a place on a stage. You’ve earned it.
About the author:
Ion Doaga writes about living well as years fly by. He is a former martial athlete and now shares his gathered wisdom and experience about physical and emotional health at http://wellnessowners.com .